So your parents are dragging you to some boring wedding. Oh brother. Fancy clothes, gross food, and all these old people who want to pick you up and say how cute you are, or worse, kiss you and pinch your cheek. When does it all end?

Well, how about we end it right here. We're only inviting your parents because they wouldn't let you come alone. If you are at least 6 years old and paid attention during swim lessons, you are invited to go rafting with us after we get the stupid ceremony out of the way. We'll make you bring a parent along with you just so you can make fun of them when they fall out of the boat.

Under 6? Didn't pay attention in swim class? No worries. We have a ranger coming to the river right after the ceremony to do a Junior Ranger program. There will be animal hides, games and I don't know what all. It promises to be just as interesting as river running.

Everyone will be getting together once again in the evening for the "reception" at the zoo on the other side of the river. OK, it's not a zoo anymore, but it used to be. Some of the former residents are still there, only in a stuffed manner. There is a tiger on the mantel, along with a jaguar and a peacock. You will also see a bison head, an entire leaping deer and three bears. Sorry they are no longer alive, but you can use your imagination.

At the lodge you will find yard games galore. We also plan to have a scavenger hunt on the property, so wear your walking shoes. And there will be prizes. Not enough for you? OK, we are inviting at least 28 kids (I lost count) so you're bound to find some mischief.